


Blow Us All Away

by Hawthorne_Pisces_Witch



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Han's a domestic cutie, Leia is a fierce warrior princess who happens to Very Sacred, Plot, progressively gets more angsty, seriously it starts soft but you will suffer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 21:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6770104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawthorne_Pisces_Witch/pseuds/Hawthorne_Pisces_Witch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leia really really doesn't want to be pregnant; passing Skywalker genes to a new generation hardly seems fair, and after all, she's about to begin her first term as Chief of State. The first two or three chapters set the scene, and after that it's just some snapshots of Ben growing up from different perspectives. (none of this is supposed to excuse or make you pity poor Ben- well, okay you can pity teenaged Ben Solo,  but Kylo Ren is evil)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blow Us All Away

Chapter 1: Running

Leia Organa awoke suddenly from a dream that seemed nothing but different expressions of constant stress. Phaser blasts, screaming, the roar of fighter jets taking off, the strain of her own mind during the last test of her Jedi training, a disappointing senate hearing, the perpetual strained peace talks she lead while trying to include both the Old Republic planets and several the Empire conquered in the New Republic government...faces, sounds, and feelings blurred together in a whirlwind that left her eyes heavier than they had been the previous night. Even the comforting sound of her husband lightly snoring beside her did little to ease the headache already blooming behind her temples. However, Luke taught her to find a common theme in her often garbled dreams- a sound, a face, even a color that might appear constantly throughout. She searched the corners of her mind for the receding impressions and out of the swamp of emotion came the answer. A baby crying, as clear as if it were wailing beside her. Her stomach rolled.   
“No,” she sighed softly, her gaze wandering to the sleeping form of Han splayed across the luxurious bed beside her. They were on Naboo, in the same palace her mother had ruled in. They resided as guests of the new Queen for a few weeks before the election took place and they would most likely move to Hosnian Prime. When they took up residence in the heart of the new capital Leia’s first term as Chief of State would begin.  
Now was not the time for her menstruation to be two weeks later, for her to be hearing baby cries in her dreams. And Han most certainly wasn’t ready. She watched his lip tremble as he breathed deeply, his face only still in sleep. They were married. She trusted him to love her and only her, and she knew she would never love anybody but him. However, he still kept the Falcon close, and when their arguments escalated to a point near dangerous, he still walked out the door, called for Chewie, and left.  
He never went far though, never to a different system, he never stayed away long, and he never left loudly or made a scene if they were attending an event. Despite his distaste for a public lifestyle, he never made a choice that could hurt her career. She knew he was uncomfortable being ’paraded around for all these unnecessary dignitaries,’ knew he only tolerated it for her, and that the next four years, should she be elected, would be difficult enough for him without...without...  
What if he left her? She shoved that thought away as she felt her stomach flip again, but could not help pulling away from Han. Swiftly rising from the bed and pulling her silk dressing gown from the tall bedpost, Leia moved across the wide chamber, her feet slapping lightly against the tan marble floor. She stood across from the bed, in the floor-to-ceiling arched windows that overlooked the sea to where the sun just began to crest the horizon. She shivered though a heady summer breeze blew past her windows and suddenly she felt as lonely as the vast water stretched beneath her. Surrounded by other landscape the ocean was still singular.   
She took several sharp breaths and reached out to Luke with her mind. Even at this distance, with her brother checking a lead on some of the Jedi Order's old archives two systems over, she felt him immediately. Fighting her reservations, she slowly opened her heart to him, showing her twin her confusion and fear. He answered with images of a map and the feeling of separation.  
Where are you?  
She smiled softly as she showed him the beautiful palace that was their mother’s home before she met Anakin, showed him the sun coming up on the water and the quiet garden. Luke had been here before; after the rebellion transitioned from a war to a few small conflicts on farther and farther flung planets. They had trained and researched their family, piecing together the story of Anakin Skywalker and Padme Nadeerie and Obi-Wan Kenobi.  
Luke’s mind filled with warmth and Leia imagined the sweet smile on her brother’s face as he showed her the image of the sun setting on the palace, the idea of a warm embrace, and discreet looks passed between two siblings.  
I’ll be with you soon.   
That comforted her; Luke, at least, would be able to think clearly about this and help her figure out what to do... and how to tell Han.   
Did she have to tell Han? She wondered, turning back to the bed, her husband slumbering on unbothered by the rising sun. She could take a pill and it would be as if it never happened, she wouldn’t have to tell her husband, and he wouldn’t have to struggle with his feelings. Despite knowing him for nine years, his past was still questionable but he had a code of ethics he lived up to and refused to leave his responsibilities to others.  
But what if word got out that she terminated a pregnancy? There were planets- whole systems even- that would never trust her again. And didn’t she want children eventually? Every day her life seemed to get more complicated, and she was already 28, already had friends with children of their own who were still committed to the New Republic. If she waited for the right moment, would she ever have the chance?   
Pushing those thoughts away, she used a simple trick she learned early in her training, focussing on her physical pain, in this case the sharp headache shooting across her temple left to right, to compress her worries into tiny, manageable steps. First, she needed to see a medical droid to be sure she really was pregnant and to take something for her migraine. Second, she needed to make sure the plans for the new Jedi Temple had been approved by the senate, and find the document outlining the Senate’s plan for interacting the the New Jedi Order. If Luke was going to join her, there was no point wasting time when these issues would need to be figured out as soon as possible.   
Sitting at the ornately carved dressing table, Leia began brushing out her long hair, considering the unique position she would possibly be in if she were elected Chief of State in a few weeks. Generally, Jedi Knights did not take political offices, as the Jedi Order and the Senate were already close most Jedi had some political influence in the Old Republic, but they were taught not to use their connections, as interfering with the democratic process was against the Jedi’s code. However, the Clone Wars and the rise of the Empire had been caused and aggravated by the continuous failure of Senators and Jedi to recognize the boundaries between the Order's philosophy and the Senate’s power. Many Senators were weary of Leia’s connection with Luke and their shared ancestry, and she couldn’t imagine the kind of distrust it would raise if anyone other than her husband and brother knew she was Jedi Knight.   
As she finished her hair and light make-up, her stomach rolled again and she realized she would have to take time out of her busy schedule to eat something. Still in her nightdress, she bent over Han’s face and kissed his temple, gently brushing her consciousness against his sleeping mind.   
He woke softly, “Mmmmorning,” he yawned, turning over to meet her eyes.   
“I have a few things to look over before breakfast,” she said softly, her heart fluttering as she moved towards to door.   
“Wait,” his hand caught hers suddenly, holding her by the wrist as he looked up at her with sleep-clouded eyes. “Come back soon, Leia,” he kissed her knuckles and turned her hand over to suck the soft pad below her thumb, his eyes suddenly lit by a mischievous spark.   
Her heart melted for a moment before she remembered that soon- very soon- she would have to disturb even this small moment of peace. “I’ll be back before you know I’m gone,” she assured him, taking her hand back and exited their suit.   
In the long hallway off the side of the main palace, Leia softly pressed the button to the left of the huge double doors to summon an orange-clad handmaiden. In a few moments, the softest of steps alerted her to the presence of a young girl wearing orange robes and white facepaint. “What can I do for you, your Highness?”   
Leia snapped her jaw to suppress a sigh, “Senator, if you please. I’m only a princess of empty space.” She saw how mortified the girl was that she might have offended her Queen’s guest and quickly doubled back. “It’s a mistake many make. I’m sorry. I seem to be a little short tempered today.”   
“That’s fine my lady. I will remember next time,” the girl replied, her eyes suddenly focussed intently on Leia. She felt the Force shift around her and remembered that the upper-crust families of Naboo were known to be a little psychic. She shifted her weight back automatically, unable to hold a mental shield around what was bothering her. “Perhaps a medical droid is needed? You can wait in the garden if you do not wish to use your rooms for this matter.”  
“Thank you,” Leia managed to say calmly though she felt anything but. The Handmaiden bowed deeply and retreated down the empty corridor. It was far too early for other guests and dignitaries to be out of their rooms yet.

* * * * * * * * * 

Half an hour later, after a basic medical scan and a small, tasteless pill for her headache, Leia entered her rooms again, just as Han thanked the servant who brought their breakfast tray.  
“Perfect timing dear,” he murmured as he took her in his arms, “I was getting pretty hungry,” he kissed her neck lightly. Leia kissed her husband but pulled away before he deepened the kiss. Han looked confused, but when his wife’s stomach growled he laughed. “Apparently so were you.”   
Over a lovely breakfast of fresh bread, fish, and fruits, Leia quickly reorganized their schedule while Han did as a good husband does, indeed, what people tended to do when the Senator got into one of her super-efficient moods; he nodded and said yes.  
“Luke’s meeting us here soon, but I’m not sure when. He could have meant tonight or that he’ll leave wherever he is by nightfall. Either way, I’ll have to look over the plans for the Temple, and I need the minutes of the last Senate meeting dealing with legal connections between the Senate and Jedi. I think Luke will be pleased with the overall positive reception there.”   
Han was examining a large red fruit but looked up when Leia paused. “Then Chewie and I can go that part for the Falcon and meet up with you later. And if Luke gets here tonight, he can come with us to check out your mom’s place.”   
“What? Oh right, Senator Amidala’s family home.” The Queen had told her that the place sat empty for years after Amidala’s death because the people turned it into a sort of living monument to her. She felt the Queen’s hope that it would be properly cared for again, but balked at the idea that she would be the one to do so.  
Sometimes her birth mother seemed so real and close to her. After all, they had both been young senators and both participated in wars that seemed impossible to win. But she always hit the same wall; how could her mother not see that kind of evil in Anakin? And if she saw that darkness, how could’ve she loved him?   
“Leia?” Han’s voice broke her contemplation, and she looked up to see her husband’s fresh white shirt covered in bright red juice. “How the hell do I eat whatever this is?”   
She laughed, but Han saw her eyes still clouded with troubles. “You peel the skin and eat the pods,” She giggled. Buttering half of some fruit-and-nut muffin, Leia considered how she could spend the evening most effectively.   
“We could still go up to the estate today,” she mused, “it’s early and I have all my files organized.   
It shouldn’t take me more than two hours or so. I know Luke will want to go back up and probably take the scenic route but…” she paused again, eyes focussed somewhere in the middle distance, as if she were seeing messages in the air itself.  
“Hey, it’s okay you want to go without Luke,” Han said gently, knowing from her dreaming expression that she was feeling the Force. “He has different feelings about your family than you do.”   
“My family died,” Leia reminded Han, her voice suddenly cold, “as a direct result of the actions of my biological father.”   
Han sighed and ran a hand through his light brown hair, “look, I know Anakin is a sore subject for you. And I know that knowing that your mother was a Queen and a Senatore and a Jedi’s wife isn’t much to go on, but I’m sure she would be proud to call you daughter. And I don’t think it’s fair to see judge her guilty by association.”  
Leia stared at Han for a few seconds, then nodded, “I just want to be able to feel her presence. Luke deserves to as well, but I just...I want a minute alone with her.”   
Han nodded, “well then get dressed your worship,” his mouth slipping back into his trademark smirk, “we’ve apparently got a lot to do today.”  
As Leia passed him to go back to their bedroom he grabbed her hand again. “Hey… is your mom gonna get mad if we make out on the couch,” he asked playfully, turning in his chair so he faced his wife. Han wrapped his arms around Leia’s waist, kissing her lower belly through the silk nightgown. “Is her, er, Force ghost, or whatever they’re called, gonna show up and start harassing me if I eat you out in her bed?”   
“Hmmm, I don’t know that she could. She wasn’t a Jedi; I don’t know if she has a Force ghost,” Leia murmured, running her hand through her husband’s hair. “But I guess you can try to piss her off as you would with anyone else,” she smiled.   
“Well good, this might be the last time in a while I get to piss anyone off if you officially become the Chief of State. Then you can make everybody call you your worship,” he quirked an eyebrow and moved his hand to pinch her ass. Seeing that she was still staring off into the middle distance he sighed and took her hands. “Hey, I know something's up, okay? I mean, I’m not a Skywalker but I know you well enough to know when there’s trouble. I’ve seen that look on your face too many times before. I get it if you have to talk to Luke. If there’s like- a disturbance in the Force or something, but you should tell me what’s up too, when you can.”   
Leia looked down into Han’s hazel eyes and felt her stomach tighten, as if her love for him and the guilt of not telling him immediately about their child growing inside of her had hardened into a ball and weighted her body down. She put her hand on his cheeks and bent to kiss his forehead. “Thank you Han,” emotion nearly choked her words, “I’ll tell you as soon as I can.”

**Author's Note:**

> I looked a bunch of stuff up on Wookipedia that probably isn't canon anymore but I don't really care. Also, yes, Leia knows how to use both the Force and a Lightsaber because it just seemed weird that she wouldn't have saute out that valuable skill.


End file.
